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Kaiser Chiefs sent down for two years for Who cover

UK authorities have followed the recent example set by their Russian couterparts and given band The Kaiser Chiefs a two-year sentence for their blasphemous cover of the Who during the Olympic closing ceremony.

The band produced one of the many, many dark moments of the night. Showing up was bad enough but performing a Who song put them on a level with Fatboy Slim in the giant octopus.

Whilst the sentence handed to Russian band Pussy Riot has caused controversy and debate, that given to The Kaiser Chiefs is expected to be welcomed by everyone.

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Bunch of Russian grannies far more appealing than Engelbert Humperdinck

They’ve still got it

Last night’s Eurovision conclusively proved that even a group of Russian grannies is more appealing to Europeans than Engelbert Humperdinck.

The UK edged Norway into last place in a style which reflected their abysmal friendly football victory, whilst Sweden won with Russia second.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel explained her vote: “Whilst David Cameron’s conservatives remain in power shunning the Eurozone, Britain has about as much hope of winning a European political popularity contest as Turkey has.

“That’s a bit optimistic actually – you have far less chance than Turkey.

“Your man Engelbert didn’t really compare to the Russian ladies. They move a lot better for starters.”

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