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Archive for June, 2012

Jimmy Carr’s tax return his funniest joke yet – HMRC

Comedian Jimmy Carr’s latest classic prank was played on a risky victim – Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs.

HMRC stated, “Normally Carr’s humour doesn’t do much for our staff, but one look at his tax return had them rolling on the floor.

“Joke’s on him this time.”

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Prince Philip pulls “sicky” to get out of Jubilee events

Rough diamond (Jubilee)

Prince Philip has been taken to hospital feeling “under the weather” after realising he had another day or so of the Diamond Jubilee events to endure.

The Duke of Edinburgh took a severe turn for the worst upon learning the line up for tonight Buckingham Palace concert included Gary Barlow, Kylie Minogue and JLS.

One of his aide’s confessed, “I let it slip that Sir Paul McCartney could be performing up to four songs, and he then started complaining about something. For a change.”

It could prove to be the perfect end to the extended Jubilee weekend for the Queen, who was rumoured to be longing for a break from the miserable old sod.

Lady Warsi reports Labour party to police for being load of numpties

Lady Warsi has reported the Labour party to the police for being such an incompetent bunch of muppets.

It counteracts their move against her last night where an MP reported her to the police despite having no evidence whatsoever.

Warsi justified her retaliation: “I have significantly more evidence for reporting them based on their two years in opposition.

“This is a group of individuals who are fairly open about their plans to put Ed Balls in charge of the nation’s economy.

“If that’s not criminal intent, I don’t know what is.”

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